I’m awful at updating this thing, so…
1. I’m getting a house! Closing is end of the month. All I have do do is put in new floors in the bedrooms and paint everything and then I can move my four pieces of furniture in. I’m kidding, it’s more like three.
2. I may be going on a date soon! But who knows. I asked a girl on a date.
Remember when you asked people out in person, and they answered right then? Yeah, that sucked.
Seriously, this shouldn’t be a big deal, but having lived in this town for several months now without meeting hardly anyone outside of work. I’m chalking it up as a win.
3. I’m seeing Brand New next month! And my family. And Arian, Ron, Kathleen, Jess… It’s gonna be a busy October. At least when all the traveling is done I can come home and, uh, move furniture and wonder why my bank statement is so low.
And on that note, time for sleep.
You were right. I knew it then, somewhere, and I know it now.
It’s been a year now, a year tomorrow in fact, and I remember wondering where I’d be a year from then, and I’d never have guessed here. I’d have never guessed I’d be a city away, be working a new job, looking for a new house.
I thought of you today, looking for flooring of all things. I’m determining what wood I want for my master bedroom, assuming I get this place (that I keep meaning to text you about) and I realized that there was a time, a year ago, that I’d have had you next to me looking. That I’d have wanted your opinion.
We always disagreed on how to make a home. Seems symbolic, doesn’t it?
But here I am. A year has passed and I’m a world away figuring life out, you’re back home with a new guy. And you have no idea how much that makes me smile. Not cause of the irony, that too maybe, but that you’re happy. I read your posts about how happy you are with him, how confident you are now, how comfortable you’re getting with yourself. I’m so proud of you, kid.
For a while I cried, then I wished it had happened sooner. For a while I thought we’d make it work, then that I’d make it work, then that I’d spent too much time working at it to have it fail. But in the end I think I’m wrong on all counts. I wouldn’t take back a single night with you, good or bad. I learned. I needed to learn, even when it hurt. And now I think you’re happy, I hope you’re happy, and when I see you next month I hope you have nothing but good stories to tell me.
And even with everything so different, so many different things making up my life than a year ago, different concerns and different victories, when I just sit back, I’m happy too.
I wandered through downtown yesterday alone. I walked what had to be miles and miles and never had a destination in mind. I used to be so restless, even just laying next to you. You used to be so anxious. I think we’re better now.
You were right. It was over. I didn’t fight.
Kicking back with a Shiner and some good music after a fun night out with my fellow local jewelers and a long day of figuring out how to say things in Polish.
So in less time than it takes to have a baby…
I’ve broken up with the girl I once thought I’d marry*.
I’ve moved over 600 miles away from home** leaving my family and basically everyone I’ve ever met up to this point.
I’ve taken a new job after seven years that cut my pay significantly***, made my customer base obsolete, and even changes my overall job description.
So here I am. Single, missing my people, taking home less than I did before college, and in a strange place; and I’ve gotta tell you…
It’s all an incredible and wonderful adventure.
This is the best me I’ve been.
*And stopped talking and gotten back together and stopped talking and finally lost the girl and found my friend.
**Almost 1000km, or roughly 16x the width of Rhode Island at its widest point, if you were wondering.
***Ah, and money… I never thought it mattered to me when you said it did, and we were both right. See the thing is, I didn’t care about having lots of money because I wanted to be rich or show off, or even cause I wanted to be comfortable. I cared because I’m competitive as hell and it gave be a way to quantify my performance. Now that I’m making less, I realize it’s not that important. Wouldn’t mind making more again though, and one day I will.